To Be Continued…

You must have these (left) to make these (right)!

I always despise the types of cartoons which end with “to be continued” because there is no sense of closure. When you are expecting there to be resolution and then there is not, it can be disturbing. Thus I must warn you from the beginning that the contents of this entry are far from complete.

This summer consisted of a manufacturing internship with the F-2 project for Japan wit Lockheed Martin Aeronautics in Fort Worth, TX. I contributed a review of how to make the composite front spar of the main wing, some initial design sketches of a drill alignment part, useful maps of the main wing, an investigation involving process control/quality procedures on the dimensions of fasteners (screws/bolts) from various vendors, as well as various paperwork items. Sometimes this was tedious, but these things are just necessary to achieve such an amazing task as producing a fighter aircraft. As an intern I also had the privilege of hearing overview briefings on the many programs at LM Aero and meet many incredible individuals. Most assuredly I can say that it was an invaluable opportunity to work with an excellent company.

Drinking Ultimate/HammerD

I think I really like ultimate frisbee. I was involved with two leagues, Grapevine and an LMRA league. Part of our team “HammerD” is in the picture above. Hopefully I will be a better player next year, but my tennis is suffering. I was also involved briefly with the McKinney Bible Church College-Cru frisbee and meetings, though I did not get any pictures of them (sad day). Kirk, who is one of the students there also introduced me to a game called “Campus Golf” which I look forward to bringing back to Auburn. I also played real frisbee golf for the first time with Rand. I also was able to visit Andy Rauschenberg in Seattle and we went up to Vancouver and Whistler in British Colombia, Canada which was amazing!

Crockett and I at the Stockyards, Andy and I in Canada&Seattle

This summer has been a foreshadowing of the rest of my life. For the first time I worked a full time engineering job as a “young adult”, participated in a “young adult” church ministry at McKinney Bible Church, and lived in a small house with another “young adult” roommate (Crockett Clifton). I experienced some of the highs and lows of what life as a post-college single adult has to offer. Herein are some honest insights I have gained about myself and others during this time. I hope to encourage you with by revealing that you are not alone if you share them and that there is hope at the end of the tunnel.

There is truly a great deal of freedom in this stage of life, and finding out that I can handle the work was encouraging. Yet so much freedom can bring out the great problem in me: self-centeredness. This disease has many symptoms. Relying on myself creates fears which in turn spawn other sins.

Apparently this picture is supposed to be showing fear…I’ll let you decide…

1. FEAR OF NON-EXISTENCE
This is without question my greatest fear. At some points it becomes so in-my-face that I care nothing for anything God has done except to guarantee me eternal life. As I mentioned previously, struggle is useless. God either has saved us for eternal life or He has not. Only his grace will give us the courage to keep functioning tomorrow morning.
“Young Adult” Perspectives
-This fear sometimes had me so much in its grip it would make me want to do anything to escape it. Entertainment was a common method to numb the sensitivity, and even normally healthy social or physical activities can become escapist. Amusing yourself is never the best option.
-When you are in this stage of life and facing decisions that will start to shape the rest of your life, big issues often rear their heads. Don’t be afraid to address them.

2. FEAR OF ISOLATION/REJECTION
When I am so focused on survival, I forget that the true nature of eternal life is knowing God. My self-centeredness starts to undermine relationships. I see them wither because I am not giving enough time to cultivate the relationship. Then I may fear that I will not be liked or will be isolated which can prevent me from really pursuing a relationship.
“Young Adult” Perspectives
-You can disappear if you want to and in most cases few will pursue you. Reasons such as laziness, a stubborn desire to direct your own schedule, or tiredness may serve as excuses not to engage in relationships with others. If this is occurring in any of your friends I urge you to pursue them, something which I have not been good at in the past. Perhaps this is what Marty meant when he advised us to “Love Recklessly”.

-You do not have much time available after work during this stage of life, so make the most of it by engaging in others lives, not just amusing yourself.

3. FEAR OF LOSING CONTROL
Once I seem to obtain this level of self-created freedom, I struggle to maintain it. Once I realized I cannot, I may get angry/frustrated. This may relate to my image at work or play or just how I decide to spend the time given me. I must let God define who I am, dying daily to self by His grace. Then I can start to trust.
“Young Adult” Perspectives
-Even in church there is this pressure which exists such that everyone is looking for a mate and evaluating each other on that basis.
-In a similar manner, your boss and co-workers are often evaluating you which puts pressure on you to create a certain image of yourself and to be successful.

-The simple fact is that we can only maintain the illusion of controlling “our” life, and others perspectives of us for so long. Instead I must trust, letting go of control. How slow I am to learn this lesson!

Biblical response
As you can see, the fears created by the disease of self-reliance are many, destructive, and accentuated by the “young adult” lifestyle. There is one answer, to TRUST GOD. God has been calling me to trust Him, as I shared with the Navs at the end of last semester (Trust Presentation with outline). The slight epiphany I have had is that I really do not KNOW God that well because of my self-centered views. Honestly it has left me somewhat at a loss. I know many things to do to know more about God, and know a good bit about who He supposedly is, but because I have resisted His work in my life, I have missed getting to know Him personally. I earnestly hope to make time to seek Him out and know Him better over the course of this semester. Then I may start to trust Him and start putting knowledge into action (Psalm 9:10).

Over the summer I have read “The Dust of Death“, “The Christian Employee“, “Blue Like Jazz“, “In Cold Blood”, “How to Read a Person Like a Book“, and some of “The Ennangram in Love and Work” where I think I am a Type 1 Perfectionist. I watched too many movies, few of which I would recommend, so they will go unlisted.

So for now I hope I have been able to give you a few of my insights into the single adult life. I am definitely excited to be back at school for another year after such an amazing summer! Certainly this topic is TO BE CONTINUED…